Nobody Should Spend Christmas Alone (Lams Christmas Special)
by SilentRain03
Summary: After hearing possibly the worst news of his life, John cuts his family trip short and heads back to New York, where he planned to spend the holidays alone as he tried to deal with it. Alexander on the other hand, had other plans. **Short Lams story, don't expect many chapters. Just a cute little Christmas special!**
1. Chapter 1

_Okay so let's try this again for the third time, yeah? I've written two other stories, each of which wasn't really going anywhere, and I honestly just didn't like them. At all. So hopefully this is the golden book. Merry Christmas, or just happy holidays to anyone reading this! Of course, this story will have the feels because I can't seem to write anything but. Don't worry, like most stories it has an adorable ending but we will have to wait for that. ;). For now, take this first part! Have an awesome rest of your day!_

 _Knock Knock!_

John rapped on Alexanders door quickly, in his hand, he nervously held his Christmas present for him he had been saving up for months. He tapped his foot, silently praying Alex would be home. He had to catch a ride to South Carolina, if Alex wasn't home he wouldn't be able to give him the gift in person, which is what he had planned for. He exhaled softly when he heard footsteps approach the door, The door opened, and there stood none other than Alex, who had dark circles under his eyes like always. This time, John decided not to bug him about it.

"John? Come in-"

"Um, no," John said quickly. He mentally kicked himself, then recovered.

"I mean, n-no thanks. Hey listen I got you something,"

He handed Alex the package.

"Just don't open it until I'm gone, okay?"

Alex's head shot up, a look of shock written on his face, man, he really needed to word his sentences more carefully.

"I'm going to my families this week," he quickly explained, "I won't be back for a few, so I wanted to drop this off before I left." At these words, Alex seemed to ease up a bit.

"Oh, alright. It will kill me not being able to thank you for so long," Alex said, chuckling. He turned the gift over in his hands. "You really didn't have to-"

"I know, I wanted to though," John said, cutting Alex off for the second time. He never was very good at giving gifts it seemed.

"Well, thank you. How long do I have to wait to open it?"

John grinned, "until you can't see me down the street. I'll see you later then!" He waved to Alex. who still looked a bit shocked and left.

"Bye?"

He walked down the road briskly, silently cursing himself out for making a fool of himself the whole way back.

"This is what you get for having crushes," He muttered to himself angrily.

"Nice going."

 _Alex-_

Alex peered out the window a third time, finally concluding he could no longer see John down the street. He turned back to the delicate package in his hands, the words To Alex, From John written on the top. He opened it, careful not to rip it too much. He unfolded the paper wrappings to reveal a small plain brown box. Inside much to his surprise held a quill with a note attached.

 _Dear Alexander,_

 _I hope you have no trouble using this quill for your own interests, I've also packed a small quantity of paper and ink for you as well. I know surely they will be used well._

 _Yours, J. Laurens._

He smiled down at the slip of paper, then proceeded to take out the quill. It was heavier than expected, a sign it was quality. He turned it over, then saw something he didn't expect.

His name.

He held it close to his eyes, and right in the edge of the pen was engraved _Alexander Hamilton_ In ornate writing. He blinked, making sure he was seeing it right.

"God John, this must've cost you a fortune," He said to himself, running his thumb over the cool, shiny metal. He had to admit, he almost felt bad using it, but at the same time, he would feel worse not using it. He walked over to his desk, setting down his paper and ink. He grabbed a blank sheet, then gently took the quill and dipped it into his already opened ink. He began writing and noticed the considerably more smooth writing, and overall more comfortable feel. He smiled, then continued.

 _My dearest, Laurens.._

 _John-_

John looked into his father's stone cold eyes, narrowed, piercing into his.

"Are you going to give me an answer? Or just stand there like a blubbering idiot?"

John shook his head, casting his eyes to the ground.

"There's no reason you couldn't have written, did you even care? You expect me just to let you in after completely ignoring us for so long? No way, you can just go back to whatever filthy part of the city you came from."

"Pa-"

"Don't call me that, you're no son of mine," He spat.

John felt his throat close, and his eyes blurred with unshed tears. He watched helplessly from his old front door-step as his father gripped the door, swinging it shut. He paused as the door was halfway closed.

"Oh, and if you were wondering about your mother, which I'm sure you weren't, she's dead," He said coldly, gritting his teeth. "Died three months ago. But you couldn't have given a damn about her either, could you?!"

And with that, he slammed the door in his face. John stood for a few moments, paralyzed. It took him a moment to process what he had heard. He turned, numbly walking down the steps. He couldn't begin to let what he had heard sink in. He had come all this way just to learn the only people who loved him were either gone or disowned him and hated him to the core. He hastily wiped a tear that rolled down his cheek as he walked down the dirt road.

"I can't believe it," He whispered shakily. "I don't want to believe it…"

A/N- _DUN DUN DUN! Okay, so I'm cutting this a bit short since it's Christmas eve and I want to try out my bath bomb, so I'll continue this tomorrow. Until then, enjoy this rollercoaster of feeling. See you next chapter because it seems I am incapable of one-shots!_


	2. Chapter 2

_John-_

John rested his forearm on the sill of the window, staring at the fresh round of snow that fell in hypnotizing swirls to the ground. Any other time, the snow would look beautiful, but now it looked nearly as dull as he felt. He sighed, tapping his finger on the cold wood, watching snow drift across the street. How could have this happened? Not one family member had even bothered to tell him his own mother had died.

Then again, it wasn't like he wrote either.

God, how could he have been so stupid? He was so busy getting drunk and messing around, he never even thought to write, and now his own dad hates him. He got to spend Christmas alone now. Sure, he could go to Alex's, but he probably was busy writing and didn't want to be bothered. Lafayette had sailed over to France weeks ago to be with his family for a while, and Herc was with his family too probably. He grabbed a letter sitting next to him on the table, which had been slipped under the door while he was away. Out of boredom, he read the letter again.

 _My dearest, Laurens_

 _I hope this letter finds you in good health. I must say, I am thrilled beyond words at this gift I have been bestowed and found it next to impossible not to thank you promptly. Unfortunately, I am unaware of the address of your families residence, so I have sent this to yours in hopes you will find it upon your return. I am exceedingly delighted with the quality of the quill, and even more so humbled by the name which it was engraved with. Words cannot begin to express my gratitude, and I hope my dear friend I can return this endowment to you. I also would like to ask you come over when it is convenient so I can also thank you in person._

 _P.S. I am using my new tool as we speak, it works wonderfully._

 _Yours, A. Ham_

His eyes skimmed the page, a half-smile forming on his lips. He was glad Alexander liked his gift, and the fact he even used it to write the thank you letter. He began to set down the paper once more until a small detail he had missed caught his eye. His read the first line, confusion setting in as soon as he saw it.

My dearest, Laurens.

A comma after dearest.

His eyebrows knitted as he re-read the line again. _Alexander must've made a mistake,_ He thought dismissively, setting down the letter. _There's no way he would write that._

 _There's no way._

 _Alex-_

"What do you mean he's back early?" Alex said, tilting his head in confusion. A habit he had somehow ended up acquiring.

"I saw him heading back to his house early this morning," Herc said, his mouth set in a hard line. A line appeared between his brows as he glanced out the window, which faced in the direction of his house.

"Why on earth would he have come back?" He asked, "I need to see if somethings wrong," He stood up, but was shadowed by Hercules who stepped in front of him.

"Yo, man before you go doing anything I've heard some things,"

Alex sat back down slowly. "Like what?"

"I was in the pub some family like every year and I heard someone say 'Laurens', so like any good spy I listened in. It was a bunch of wasted plantation owners who were bashing his dad for something or another, anyways, I nearly had tuned out until I heard them mention his wife, John's mom." He paused, almost as if he was hesitant on what he was about to say.

"His mom died months ago. I don't think he knew until he actually went to his house."

Alex's breath caught in this throat.

"That's impossible. There's no way she could've died without him knowing,"

"I don't know, man, all I know if what I heard."

His shoulders fell. That's impossible, to have your own mother die and not know about it for months. But then again, John never talked about his family much, so anything could be possible at this point.

"Poor John.." He whispered. He looked back up at Herc.

"I need to go see if he's alright, nobody should spend Christmas alone, especially not after hearing something like that. I hope him and his dad didn't get into a scuffle."

"Man," A look of sadness came over Herc, something Alex didn't see very often. "I wish I could tag along but the family is waiting for me. I'll drop by the second I can alright?"

"Alright," Alex said, already throwing on his coat.

They both walked outside, then parted ways, Alex would've broken into a dead sprint if the town hadn't been as busy. He walked briskly, not even bothering to gaze at the scenery as he usually did. The air was sharp and bitter, and occasionally blowing through. The typical weather for a Christmas Eve. He looked up, noting the sun was already starting to go down.

"If I don't hurry I'll end up spending the night there," He murmured to himself.

It took only about ten minutes to get there, compared to what would usually be about a fifteen-minute walk across town and a bit into the country. He nearly fell on his face running up the steps to the small home due to the ice that had built up. He knocked three times, then waited. Slowly, the door opened.

John-

John's head snapped at the door where the knocks erupted. Who would be here? On

Christmas Eve of all days? His thoughts automatically fixated on one person.

Alex.

He didn't know why Alex was under the impression he was in South Carolina, he wouldn't be here. He stood up slowly, debating on if he should peek out the curtains. He bit his lip, putting a hand on the doorknob. _Oh god, please don't let this be anyone I know,_ he prayed silently, turning the handle. He slowly swung open the door and was greeted by an all to familiar face.

"Oh, uh, hey Alex. I er- didn't expect to see you here." He stammered, trying to keep his cool. He could tell Alex was having none of it.

"I could say the same for you," He said, looking straight into John's eyes. He looked down.

"Listen, I know I said I was going to be gone, but.. Things came up so I came back. I swear I wasn't lying to you."

"I know you weren't lying John, I never said you did," He chuckled. "I wanted to stop by and see if you were alright."

Johns' head shot up.

"W-what do you mean?"

"I heard some things, and well long story short they weren't very happy things." John slipped his hands into his pockets. So Alex did know.

"John," Alex said softly, "what happened?"

John swallowed back tears and started from the beginning.

"I went to South Carolina, just like I had planned when I got there my dad answered the door. He was so angry, Alex, screaming about how I never wrote him and how I didn't care about him." He laughed humorlessly, "He basically disowned me right then and there. And just as he went to slam the door the stopped.. And told me my mother was dead and said I didn't ever care about her… s-so I came back here and you were busy and Laf was in France and Herc was doing God knows what…"

He trailed off to keep from bursting out into tears. Alex looked at him sadly, his mouth slightly open. He smiled back the tears, his lower lip trembling,

"John.. God, you should've come over,"

He gasped slightly as Alex pulled him into a warm hug, pulling him close to his torso.

Then came the tears.

It began slow, tears trickling down his face before he lost all control of himself. Sobs tore through his chest like daggers, his body shaking violently.

"I di-didn't know," he sobbed shakily, "I never even got to say goodbye, Alex, I never even got to.."

"I know, I know," Alex whispered comfortingly, rubbing his back.

He gasped, trying to bring back the air as more cries came, each wrenching and pained. If he hadn't of been crying, he would feel awkward, hugging his crush on the front door of his own house, but he was thankful now Alex was there. He buried his head closer into Alex's shoulder, frantically pulling at the back of his coat as if his own life depended on it. Alex pulled him in even tighter, hushing him softly. After a few minutes, the intensity of his crying calmed to and occasional whimper among still trickling tears. He pulled back wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. His chest hurt from crying, and his eyes felt puffy. He could never remember the last time he cried so much. He was about to attempt to talk again when out of nowhere Alex reached out, holdings Johns face in his hand, gently wiping away a rogue tear that slipped out of his eye with his thumb. Alex smiled at him, in a way John could honestly only describe as loving. He smiled back.

"I'm sorry this happened, John. Listen, why don't I stay here tonight or you can come back to my house, you shouldn't be spending Christmas alone here by yourself."

"But what about your papers?"

Alex smiled. "Finished this morning, pretty quickly too with that new quill."

"Well, if it's no trouble for you," John said, "I wouldn't mind the company."

 _Later that night…_

John sat on the small sofa next to Alex, Alex was reading a book while John tried his hardest not to fall asleep. His head was leaned back, and his eyes were heavy as he gazed up at the ceiling, his mind a buzz. He couldn't help but evoke the scene from earlier, and his well, actual breakdown. Though he got most of it out, he still felt... numb. The news still had him almost in a depressed mood, but having Alex just sitting next to him made him feel much better. He then remembered something from earlier he wanted to mention.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hm?"

He paused. Making sure he actually wanted to go through with this.

"In that letter you sent, the short thank you letter about the quill,"

"What about it?" Alex asked, sitting up straight. John took a breath.

"You put a comma after Dearest. My dearest, Laurens. Was that an accident?"

"No. No, it wasn't."

Johns' eyes widened, he turned to Alex who was looking intently at him. _God, I hate when he does that,_ John thought to himself.

"You mean…?"

"John I… I mean I really _like_ you," He said, closing his book. "Like, more than a friend. Call me crazy I know."

"If that's crazy, then I'm afraid we've both gone mad."

John saw the confusion on Alexanders face, then saw realization dawn on him. He laughed.

"Alex, since the day we met I fell completely head over heels for you, I could never stop thinking about you. I never thought you would ever like me back."

"Are you kidding?" Alex began, "I felt the exact same way. I guess both of us must've been awfully good at hiding our feelings."

John shook his head, smiling. He could not believe it, Alex really liked him back. In that moment, the adrenaline of the thought took over and he did the unthinkable. He leaned over, pressing their lips together softly. Nothing big, but enough. He felt Alex raise a hand, resting it gently on the back of his neck, running his fingers through John's curls. After a moment or two, he leaned back again, both of them smiling at each other. He laughed breathlessly, which accidentally turned into a deep yawn.

"Tired?"

"Mhm," John replied, slugging back into the couch, his heart doing front flips and leaps, his brain falling asleep, however that worked. Adrenaline rush, over.

"Yeah, me too."

"Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Alex slid down slightly into the couch as well, putting his hands behind his head.

"For what?"

John looked over at Alex, smiling slightly.

"Being here for me tonight, I really needed someone as much as I hate to admit it."

"Don't mention it, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He replied.

"Hey," John said, changing the subject, "Do…. do you care if I use you as a pillow?"

Alex chuckled.

"Be my guest."

John rested his head on Alex's shoulder, which immediately felt much better than having his head lolled back on the couch.

"Thanks," he whispered, already beginning to fall asleep. Man, he must've really been tired. Just before sleep overcame him, he felt the unmistakable warmth of Alex kissing his forehead.

The next day, he found himself cuddled right up next to Alex, his head resting on his chest, Alex's arms wrapped around him tightly. That's when he knew, he was glad to have Alex there with him, so he didn't have to spend this Christmas alone.

So he wouldn't have to be alone.

 _A/N- I have to laugh, I changed that last scene twice, and sorry, I did have a pretty intense kiss scene but it was very out of place so I pitched it. Well, there you are! My freakishly long second chapter! Hope everyone got everything on their list and had an awesome day! I'm so tired though, so I will quickly edit this then go to sleep! Don't forget to leave kudos/favorites! AND COMMENT! I love you guys! Later!_


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